The need for human connection is ingrained in all of us, as it helps us survive as a species. Humans are social creatures and need to be with others. However, we all like to be alone at times. These needs vary from person to person. Some people like a lot of time alone, others don’t like to be alone for very long. If you tend to be an introvert, you probable enjoy your alone time more than an extravert, as this is how introverts recharge their batteries.

However, it is important that you don’t isolate yourself, as you may become depressed.

Those of you who enjoy spending a lot of time on line or playing online games with others need to be careful that this is not your only form or socializing. Many people who spend a lot of time on line will feel a connection with those they game with, and will argue that they are socializing.

Socializing in person is a very different experience than socializing on line or through Face Time, etc. If this is all that is available to you, then its better than nothing.  Dr. Will Reader’s research shows that to form true close friends, they need to be in person. According to him, we need to be physically in the same room with the person to determine if they can be trusted. It is easy to mislead someone online, or to portray yourself as someone you are not.

If you find yourself alone most of the time, it would be a good idea for you to make more of an effort to spend time with others. Here are some suggestions from a website called Between Sessions on ways you can be social.

How to Be More Social

Invite a friend to dinner

This is a wonderful way to have intimate conversation with another person, to really catch up and be connected.

Go to a meet up group

Look on meetup.com and see if there is a group that is of interest to you. My guess is if you look at all of them, you will find something of interest. This is a great way to meet people if you are a shy person. Because you have a common interest, you have something to talk about.

Find a friend to walk with

This way you kill 2 birds with one stone. You get some exercise and connect with a friend. Many people find it easier to have a conversation while doing something else. Typically when you walk there is something interesting in nature that you see.

Join a community service group

Find a group that you feel you have a connection with. Typically when you do some type of community service you feel good about yourself. You might even make a new friend in the process.

Contact people you have lost touch with

Most of us have some friend that we haven’t seen in a long time. Is there someone from high school or college that you used to be really close with? Why not call them up to get together and fill each other in on your lives.

Join a spiritual or religious group

It helps to connect with people who have similar belief systems that you do. You will probably feel some sense of camaraderie. This certainly isn’t to say that you should avoid people who have different beliefs than you, as different is good.

Spend time in nature with a friend

This can be done in many different ways. Perhaps you enjoy hiking, sitting by the lake, bird watching. Whatever it is, nature is healing.

Join a group for a specific hobby

Do you enjoy photography, needlework, scrapbooking, jewelry making, playing a musical instrument? Whatever your hobby is, there is probably a group for it.

Take some type of class

Perhaps this is with your hobby, at your local university. Perhaps you’d like a self-help course.

These are just a few suggestions of things you can do. It’s by no means an exhaustive list. I’m sure there are other things that you can think of so you are not alone too often. If this is something you struggle with, or I can help you with, please call me at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie