How do you feel in your relationship? In healthy relationships your partner helps you to be the best you, no matter what that is. He or she is there to support your needs, dreams and goals. This certainly doesn’t mean they are responsible for your goals, just to support them. We don’t expect your partner to be perfect. However, if your partner makes you feel bad about yourself, or sabotages you in some way, then it’s time to consider leaving the relationship. Here are some signs that you are not in a healthy relationship according to an article in Psychology Today titled, “Are You in the Wrong Relationship?”
- You no longer feel like yourself in the relationship.
Over time you have given up the things that you love to do in order to make your partner happy. You do what your partner wants vs. assert what you would like. In healthy relationships, there is a give and take. Both do some of what the other person likes. This loss of self happens gradually over time. In the beginning, the infatuation is so strong, you will do just about anything. Thus, you may wonder who you are or what you have become. If this is the case, it is important to reclaim yourself, and do the things you love.
2. You feel like you need to prove your self-worth.
In healthy relationships this does not occur. You should feel important and that your ideas are worthwhile. How do you know if you have to prove your self worth? Well, if your partner dismisses your ideas, that is one sign. Another sign is that your partner does not support your dreams and goals, or you are made to feel that are silly. If your partner continually talks about him or herself and doesn’t let you talk about yourself that is a third sign. Feeling that you are not seen is common.
3. You no longer feel that you are even a part of the relationship.
Since your partner is in the drivers seat of your relationship, you feel like you are letting it happen vs. making it happen. You feel that you are just going through the motions of life. This is a sign that your relationship is in a rut.
4. You no longer have a relationship with yourself.
You stop hoping for more in the relationship. Your needs are no longer being met and you settle. Justifications are made for you staying in the relationship. What you have feels safe, even though it’s mediocre at best. You think this is as good as it gets.
If you have questions as to whether or not your relationship is healthy, or if you’re thinking of leaving, therapy can help. Give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Debbie Grammas, PhD