Intrusive thoughts are a component of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and other anxiety disorders (phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder) that many people find disturbing. I have seen clients who are tortured by their thoughts, as if thinking them makes them a horrible person, or thinking these thoughts may come true. They may ruminate for hours on them and may not be able to function, as they would like. This is different than for most of us who have unacceptable thoughts that are fleeting. We are easily able to ignore them and let them go.

A common fear is that something will happen to one of their family members, such as being harmed or killed. The person may have some compulsions to neutralize these negative thoughts. Others may turn to drugs, alcohol or food as a way to numb out and decrease their distress.

The recommended treatment is probably the last thing you want to do, and that is to allow the thoughts to be there, accept them and not judge them them. You may wonder why. The reason is the more you try to resist something, the more you think about it. What you resist persists is a saying that has stuck with me. Think about it. When you actively try not to think about something you are thinking about it. That is counterintuitive.

I found the exercise below from Between Sessions, a website with many different exercises for psychological distress. If you struggle with intrusive thoughts, I hope you find it helpful.

Five steps to handle intrusive thoughts

Refer to your thought as just a thought

This thought does not control you and you are not your thought. It is just something harmless in your head.

Automatic thought

Remind yourself that this thought is coming automatically and means nothing. It will not cause you any harm.

Allow the thought to be there

Allow it to be there and let it just remain in the background. Don’t try to get rid of it or judge it.

Breathe

Do some deep diaphragmatic breathing or meditation while allowing the thought to be there. Eventually your anxiety level will decrease.

Live

Do whatever you were engaged in when the thought arrived. Don’t let it stop you from doing the things you want to do.

Practice

Now comes practicing what we preached. We are actually going to recommend that you practice this. Which means we want you to start thinking of your intrusive thought. You might think this is the craziest thing you ever heard. The only way to get rid of your anxiety is to do the thing you are afraid of.

Get a piece of paper and make 5 columns. Write down the situation that triggers the intrusive thought. An example might be when your teen is using the car. In the second column write the common thought you have. Example, my son will get in a car accident. In the third column put from 1-10 your level of distress. Next mark down if you were able to use the 5-step method listed above. In the last column write your level of distress.

The recommendation is to do this every day for a minimum of two weeks. Then re-rate your intrusive thought. Has it decreased? I hope so.

Another common feeling that goes with these intrusive thoughts is shame. You are your own worst critic. Perhaps showing yourself some compassion would also be helpful. Think about what you may tell a friend who was having the same obsessive thoughts. You would most likely be kinder to this person than yourself. Remember, you are struggling, so be kind to yourself.

If you find this exercise too difficult or scary, you may want to do it in the presence of a therapist who can help you go through this at a proper pace for you. Everyone is different.

Some people also find medication to be helpful with their severe obsessive thoughts. Perhaps you may want to get on some medication along with therapy until you have gained the tools you need to work on your intrusive thoughts. If this is something you struggle with, give me a call at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie